The Indescribable Feeling
by CarryYourHeartWithMe
Summary: James and Lily have always liked each other, but didn't figure it out till now. Remus first meets Tonks, is it love at first sight? Sirius is torn between his best friends, when he relizes Wormtail is sneaking off to hang with the... full summery inside!
1. Breaking The Ice

**James and Lily have always liked each other but didn't know it themselves ever since they met. Now in their seventh year they are figuring out that what they have it more then a crush. But what happens when Severus, Lily's old friend, finally talks to her again? James gets jealous? Lily gets blamed for Snape's secret? Meanwhile, Remus is experincing love-at-first-sight with Tonks, but what happens when the Death Eaters interfer? Voldemort is rising to power, and Wormtail is slowly disappearing. Not only is Sirius being blamed for what Lily did by James, but he is the only one becoming suspious of Wormtail and his meetings with the Slytherin group called 'Death Eaters' (IN TRAINING TO BECOME REAL DEATH EATERS) When death eaters start striking at their own blood, the Marauders decide to step up to the plate...**

**This is my first Harry Potter FanFic, I hope you guys like it! I worked hard on it, this is only chapter one! Please Review! I would like to know what you think! Thanks!**

**Sorry if I have spelling or gramar mistakes!**

**JAMES POV!**

"James, check out Lily." Sirius said under his breath to me. I slowly moved my head to the right and saw Lily sitting with her friends four tables over. I watched her brush her hair out of her gogeous face and my eyes caught her bright green ones. She blushed and turned away.

"Someone has crush..." Sirius teased. Those words brought me back to my senses.

"Lily? Please... I'm so over here and the fact she has turned me down every year..." I sighed. Sometimes Sirius knew me better then I knew myself.

"Come on man! This year is the year I can sense it!" He tried to cheer me on. I rolled my eyes. Sirius can think he is such a love guru but he has no idea. I looked around the Hogshead. All eyes were on Lily, well execpt Wormtail's and Remus's eyes, Remus had his head in a book, Wormtail's was on his plate. Otherwise everyone else was staring at her. Guys look at her because of her beauty. Girls looked at her because of pure jealousy. She didn't notice though, she just talked with her friends.

"Go on talk to her!" He urged. I rolled my eyes.

"If I talk to her with you _please_ stop bothering me about her for a while?" I spat at him. He nodded and gave me a push out of my chair. I got up and started to walk towards their table.

"I hate you for making me do this." I hissed back at Sirius. He just winked and pointed to her table and I kept walking.

As I reached her table I saw Severus Snape had beaten me there. _Severus Snape_. Ugh, that stupid death eater has a crush on Lily too now? Well we'll just see about this.

"Lily, please I didn't mean it." pleaded Severus. "Please just talk to me." I saw Lily's eyes water.

"I just thought I knew you better then this Severus. I really did." I could have sworn I saw a teardrop coming down her cheeck. Immediately, she stood up and ran out of the room. _Lily!_ I had to help her. I can't stand her being hurt. I feel as though I need to stop anything from hurting her or anyone. _Snape. _

"What did you say to her Snape?" I demanded.

"Wha-at? Er, erm, nothing Potter!" He stuttered. I glared at him and he return it. "Stay out of it Potter!" He snapped.

"Maybe I would if people like _you _wouldn't hurt Lily!" I shouted back and ran out of the room after Lily. I got halfway down the hall till I heard crying from the girls bathroom. I hesitated. Should I go in? Would she think I'm some sort of freak?

"Lily?" I whispered.

"GO AWAY!" She brawled.

"Lily, its me James." I tried again. I heard more sobbing and no answer. I decided to go in. "Lily?" But I didn't need an answer, I saw her curled up against the wall. I sat down besides her and felt her head fall on my shoulder.

"Lily tell me what happened." I tried to calm her. She wiped her tears on my T-Shirt.

"L-last year, remember when you h-hung S-severus b-by his ankle," She reminded me, still trying not to cry. I felt a slight sting remembering how mad she was at me at the time, when all I wanted to do was impress her. I nodded for her to go on.

"W-when I s-stoped you guys fr-rom it, he called me a," she closed her eyes, I could tell whatever he called her must have hurt her. "He called me a-a Mudblood." I gaped my mouth.

"That jerk called you that?!?!" I could feel the anger rising, I wanted to snap that little nerd in half!

"That's not just it." Lily said, her voice less shakey. I nodded once more for her to go on. "Snape and I were best friends growing up, he told me about magic, he helped me when I had no idea what I was. But that day, that day, he broke my heart." Her tears were back, and more than ever.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. "Lily," I whispered in her ear. "No matter what anyone tells you, you are the smartest, kindest, most amazing wizard I know, maybe even in the world, besides Dumbledore ofcorse." He paused to wipe her tears. "You don't need people like Snape telling you who you are, and who your not. Ecspecailly since your a million times better than them." I smiled at her and looked once more into those bright green eyes. She looked back into mine and I felt as if all time had stopped, her glazed locked into mine, and suddenly I felt as if nothing else mattered.

"You really think so James?" She sniffled. I nodded. Out of nowhere I felt a soft kiss planted on my cheek, I smiled at her again. "What was that for?" I asked.

"For being a great friend James, I never knew you were this kind." She stood up and smiled. "Maybe I'll see you around?"

"Yah, maybe." I smiled back, and before I knew it she had left the room. Wait, backup. _Friend? _Is that all I am to her? The feeling of nothing else mattered vanished as I sat against the wall. I felt sick, but not like the regular flu. It was different, something undiscribable.

"James Potter? Get out of the girls bathroom!"

I reconized the voice from a girl named Rita from Ravenclaw. Uh oh. I quickly got up and darted out of the room embarassed. Almost as embarassed as I was going googly eyed over Lily this morning.


	2. At First Sight

**Here's chapter 2, its not as good but I hop you guys like it! Keep in mind Tonks is only like, 7 in this. Also, sorry for spelling!**

**LUPIN POV**

"What's taking James so long?" Sirius moaned. "You guys are boring." He teased but still looked around for James. I laughed.

"You know Sirius, It wouldn't hurt if you started studying for our Defense Against the Dark Arts test tomorrow." I joked and went back to reading to my book.

"Tonks what are you doing here?" asked Sirius. I looked up to find a little girl with bubble gum pink hair.

"My Aunt doesn't care where I go, she yelled at me to get out." Her smile faded. Sirius smiled, "Like niece like uncle." Tonks tried to smile a little.

"She's your niece?" I asked supprised, Sirius didn't talk about his family.

"Oh yah, Tonks meet one of my best friends, Lupin. Lupin, meet my best cousin Tonks." He finished. Tonks looked at me with her cute eyes.

"How do you do?" She asked me.

"Oh I'm fine." I answered, my cheeks turned red. Was I really that lame? She sat next to me. "You know, in a few years I'll be in Hogwarts. Too bad this is your last year." I looked at her speechlessly. She was really pretty. Her gaze locked with mine.

"Well," said Sirius breaking the silent embrace. "I'm going to go find James. Maybe he will do something besides read books and stuff his face." Then he stood up and left the Hogshead.

"So you like to study?" She asked eyeing his textbook. I felt my cheeks redden, what if she thinks I'm a nerd?

"Umm yah." I admitted. She showed me a toothy smiled. "Me too. I'm planning on being an Arour. That's the reason why my Aunt is mad at me. She wants me to join this new dark wizard. Voldemort." What do I say now? Think Remus.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I looked down. I felt something warm touch my cheek and I looked up.

"Sorry," apologized Tonks and she pulled her finger away. "Sirius told me you were a werewolf." What?! Sirius told me he wouldn't!

"Oh no, he didn't tell anyone else, and I haven't either. In fact I just sort of caught him turning into a dog and I made him tell me why." I felt relived. Knowing Sirius, he would do something as stupid as that. But you can tell that Tonks was trustworthy, there was something about her...

"I'm like you Lupin, I'm different," she murmered. I felt my eyebrows raise in interest. "I'm a metamorphagus."

"Wow, really?" I wondered aloud. She laughed and nodded. I watched as her nose changed to a pigs snout and back. Then her hair changed from pink to blue within an instant. I felt myself laugh at the weird faces she would do.

"Nymphadora Tonk!" Screeched and messy haired girl entering the Hoghead. Tonks looked scared.

"Tonksy! Little baby, what are you doing with this stupid boy?" She eyed me but returned her focus on Tonks. "What have I told you about talking wandering off while I'm watching you, you little brat!"

"You yelled at me to leave Bella!" Tonks had tears in her eyes. _Smack! _Tonks was slaped across the face. "How dare you lie to your Aunt!" Screech Bellatrix and cackled a high-pitched laugh.

I felt myself ache for her. "Hey leave her alone." I told Bellatrix. She cackled once more. "And what are you going to do about it? You little 7th year?" I turnedred, no with embarassment, but with pure anger.

"Don't touch her!" I snapped again and I took out my wand.

"You mean like... this?" She smacked her again, hard on the face. Tears were dripping down Tonk cheeks. Bellatrix drew her wand.

"Crui--"

"Expelliarmous!" I cried, flinging Bellatrix wand out of her hand. She looked at me wide-eyed. Embarassed, she stormed away calling Tonks to follow her as she left.

"Thank you so much!" I felt Tonks small hands wrap around my waist. I bent over and huged her back.

"Will I see you again?" I asked. She smiled.

"Maybe, as long as you and Sirius hang out." She winked and turned, and I watched as the girl with the pink hair leave the Hoghead.


	3. Best Feeling In The World

**I love this chapter. It's really cute.**

**Lily's POV !**

As I left the bathroom my body was still in complete shock. I never knew James was this nice, this fun, this _cute. _I shook my head. No. I couldn't possibly like him, not _James Potter_. The boy who is always getting himself into trouble, can be immature—but he didn't seem immature at all today. Has he changed? Does he like me to or was he just being a supportive friend.

_Snap of it Lily!_ I needed to get some air. I stepped out of Hogshead into the pouring rain. The pitter-patter helped me concentrate more. I sighed.

Did he really think I was one of the best wizards he knew? Am I actually thinking about him?

I replayed the previous event with him in my mind, always pausing whenever our eyes met. _What is wrong with me?! _This is the same guy who obnoxiously kept asking me out for the past few years and now I'm falling for him?!? Wait. Did I just admit I'm falling for him? _Oh my god. _I think I have a crush on him!

My body was soaked from the rain but I couldn't go back in there. What if he was in there.

"Lily? Why are you standing in the rain?"

I turned around to find Sirius standing in the doorway. "Oh, err, I like the rain." I said, I couldn't tell him the truth.

"Oh, well have you seen James, I thought he was with you?" He asked. I could tell he was really bored.

"Um I don't know." I answered. Sirius flew back open the door and ran right into James. "Ouch! Man, where were you?" He asked as he rubbed his banged head. James was rubbing his too. "Ouch. I was talking to Lily."

My heart fluttered. James! "Oh, hey James." I greeted. He smiled a little then returned to Sirius. "I hafta tell you how it went." And Sirius followed him back in.

I stood there confused. Was that a sign that he liked me? Or not? Ugh, boys are so confusing. Moments later Sirius came out again, this time he looked less cheerful and more angry.

"Hey Sirius." I said as he walked past me. He turned around and his eyes narrowed at me. "Oh my god Lily. For the smartest which in our school you can really be such a dumb ass!"

My eyes widened in shock, "What?"

"James has been crushing on you for such a long time, and he practically threw himself at you and you called him a friend. And don't deny that you don't like him too, I know you do. Everyone knows that you to like each other but you and James. Why can;t you guys just get together?" He ranted. I stared at him in complete shock. James likes _me?_

"So why don't you just go tell him how you really feel before I effing lose my mind!" He yelled.

"Okay."I agreed staying calm. "Wait, what?" He looked at me in shock.

"I'll do it." I decided. Sirius smiled and walked away, I stared after him. I'm going to tell James how I really feel. I'm going to tell him now.

I walked into the Hogshead and spotted James sitting alone.

"James I need to talk to you." I told him. "Okay" He smiled.

"Ooooh! Lily and James need to talk!" Cried a Slytherin named Penelope. I ignored her and took James by the hand and pulled him outside.

"James, I'm sorry." I started. He stared at me confused. "I'm really sorry for the way I've been acting, and I wanted to let you know." I took a deep breath. "I like you James, I like you a lot." I finished and I looked into his light blue eyes.

He was silent for a moment, the silence made me nervous.

"Lily," He ended the silence, my heart wa beating so fast.

"I have been waiting for you to say that for a long time."

I felt his arms wrapped around me and I wrapped mine around his his neck, pulling him closer to my lips. I felt them touch lightly, but it was the best sensation I had ever felt in my whole life.I felt as though it was an eternal fire. Something I have never felt in all the other boys I've dated. And I loved it and wanted more of it.

We finally stop we warm embrace when we heard people leaving to head back to school. His hand holding mine, we set off back to Hogwarts feeling as though nothing could stop us, nothing could keep us apart. It was the best feeling in the world, to be with James Potter.


	4. Something In The Air

**I hope you guys enjoy! Lol just so you know, in my fanfictions they can talk when they are animals lol.**

**xoxoxo!**

**SIRIUS POV!**

"Hey James, lets go to Lupin's tree! It's a full moon tonight and it's time for the Maraudars to party!" I laughed. James agreed happily and we took his inviability cloak and heading toward to tree. On the way I could tell he was looking for Lily, and he kept ruffling his hair. This made me laugh because my best friend was always trying to look good for the ladies.

"Where's Wormtail?" He asked. I looked around surprised too, that I didn't see the mouse-like boy in sight. I remembered him leaving after stuffing his face at the Hogshead.

"I don't know." I answered truthfully.

"Oh and man, I'm sorry for yelling at you about Lily earlier, I was just angry then, that she still considered me only as a friend." He apologized. I gave him a toothy smile.

"It's cool dude. I would have been mad too. At least you guys are together now!"

James return the gesture.

"Oh god, not those stupid Slytherins!" He pointed out watched as a group of Slytherins walked on the grounds, heading towards their corridors. I saw a fat little man amogst the group, with a mouse like complextion.

"Wormtail?!" I shouted. The boy didn't turn around, he was laughing amongst them. I could tell James saw it too, his mouth out hanging open.

"What the bloody hell is Peter doing?" I wondered. "PETER PETIGREW!" I shouted trying to get his attention. The boy turned around and froze with horror. I glared and him.

"Um, I'll see you guys later." He said as he left the Slytherins and slowly made is way to us.

"What the hell were you doing with _them?_" I even pinched my noise in disgust to emphasize it. He looked nervous.

"I was um, telling them to leave me alone. Yeah, yeah, they were bulling me you see." He lied. I clenched my teeth. "You bloody son of a--."

"Sirius its okay, I believe him." Said James calmly. I shook my head in disbelief. "You honestly believe this rat? He was just hanging with our enemies!" I shouted.

"Shh, Sirius do you want everyone to hear us? Well get caught." He shushed me. I kept my mouth closed but my glare on Wormtail. He looked a bit more relieved.

When James gave the signal we turned into our animagus like we did every full moon. James turned into a stag, I turned into a dog, and Peter into a rat and we went inside the tree to find Lupin, in his full werewolf stage.

"Okay lets pull out the Maraudar's Map." I instructed. Peter took it out of his pocket and handed it to me.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good." I said and with a twirl of my wand it opened revealing everyone in Hogwarts. It was a perfect way to spy on everyone without having a chance of getting caught.

"Hey look its Dumbledore!" Remus pointed out the dot that said Dumbledore, which was pacing in his office.

"Ha! Look Longbottom must be asleep already!" He touched his finger to the dot in the Gryffindor Boy's Dormitory.

"Wait, there's Lily." Said James. He stared at her dot. Then I saw his brow wrinkle, and when I looked at her dot I understood why. Lily wasn't in the girl's dormitory, nor was she in the Gryffindor Common Room. She was in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. But she wasn't alone. Another dot was just entering the room. And that dot read Severus Snape.

"What the hell are they doing there? Why aren't they in their dormitories?" I could feel the anger in his voice.

"Maybe she just needed to go to the bathroom and Snape was just spying on her?" I tried to comfort him. James rolled his eyes.

"Everyone knows that nobody uses that bathroom and how would 'Snivellus' know she was in there? They must be meeting. But why?" He wondered. I tried to think of solutions but was interuped by Wormtail.

"Maybe you just have competition James." He teased. No one laughed. We all just glared at him while he made a nervous laughing sound.

"Well I'm going to find out." James decided and as he turned back into his normal, messy-haired self, he pulled on his invisibility cloak and dashed out of the tree. I watched as he got the cloak fully on himself and disappeared against the night.

"Some people can't take a joke." Wormtail huffed. I punch him hard.

"OW!" He whined and started rubbing his arm.

"Baby..." I hissed.


	5. It Hurts

**Here's another chapter :)**

**LILY POV AGAIN**

I watched Snape enter and took a deep breath. "I got your note." I told him. He nodded, putting his finger to his lips to quiet me down. I rolled my eyes.

"What do you want?" I told him, letting him know I haven't forgiven what he called me. He had a nervous smile across his face. I frowned.

"I wanted to talk to you," He began.

"Isn't it obvious?" I interrupted. He ignored the sting and continued.

"I don't think you should date Potter."

"Oh so now your telling me who to date?!"

"You don't understand," he tried again. "Join us, The Death Eaters, we can hang out all the time. The Dark Lord wants you Lily. You and I could be great. We could be the greatest followers of all time!"

I could not believe he just said that. "You know what Severus? You know the other reason why I haven't been talking to you? No, it isn't just because you called me a Mudblood when I thought you were my best friend," At this point I had him pinned against a wall my face was practically touch his I was that close. "It isn't just because Dark Magic has consumed your heart, that the Voldemort is practically the reason why you live. No. The reason why I haven't been talking to you I because it hurts. It hurts to know the fact that the guy I thought I knew is gone. What happened to the Severus that helped me out when I didn't know what I was? What happened to the Severus that I played with as a child? Huh? Because I would like to know where the hell my best friend went, and damn! I want to know now!" I stopped to catched my breath. His brown eyes we opened wide, his mouth dropped.

"Lily have you ever thought about this hurting me too?" He asked. I didn't understand. "I've been trying to protect you this entire time! The Dark Lord hates muggle-borns, but I got him to accept you as a death eater--"

"Is that all you ever think about?!" I asked. "Voldemort?! Death Eaters?! What if I don't want to join him? Ever thought of that Severus? You didn't, wanna know why? Because he has consumed your life. Why do you even want me to join and be with you in his little clan? Huh?"

He looked at the ground from me and back.

"Because I love you Lily Evans." And He kissed me on the lips, before I could react he ducked from under me and ran out the door.

"Wha-att?" I asked no one in particular. My whole body was in shock I could barely her Myrtle Moaning. I covered my eyes with my hands. This _couldn't _be happening. What about James? I love James. But I've known Severus so long. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked tired. My eyes were a little red and underneath were dark circles. I needed sleep. I quietly slipped out of the bathroom running into an inviable object.

"Wh-who's there?" I shook, what if I'm caught sneeking around? I could be expelled! Maybe it was just a ghost? No, ghost pass through you. Peeves? Oh no...

The object slipped off something to reveal a floating head.

_"James?!"_ I hissed. What was he doing out of bed? How did he find me. I examined his face. His eyes were red, from crying I suspected.

"Wh-hat's wrong?" I asked. To see him like his hurt me. He looked deep into my eyes.

"How could you Lily? How could you do this to me?" I saw streaks of tears on his face. I recalled the previous event with Severus. Oh god. Did he see that?!

"Oh no James it's really not what it looks like!" I pleaded. "Please listen to me! Snape asked me to meet him here so he could--"

"Snog you?" He interrupted. "Cause don't worry, that's _exactly _what it looked like. Lily, I really thought you liked me, if you were just going to play with my emotions, I-I don't know. I guess I just thought you were better than that. I really thought you liked me to."

Before I could argue or persuade him to let me tell him what really happened, he vanished. Great job Lily. You have to get yourself into these things. Now you have broken _three_ people's hearts. Severus's, James's, and your own.

When I got back to the girl's corridor, I made sure everyone one wasn't awake, then I cried myself to sleep.


	6. Things You Don't Mean

**Here's another ;) enjoy!**

**LUPIN POV**

"What time is it?" I asked, we were sleepy from waiting for James to come back.

"5:00 A.M." Sirius replied drowsily. Wormtail was asleep on the floor, while Sirius and I were struggling to sit up. I wonder what Tonks is doing right now... Will I ever see her again? Oh no. I'm thinking about her again. What's wrong with me? She is only seven. But she is the most intelligent seven-year-old I know.

"Hey Sirius," I found myself asking. Oh please don't ask it Remus! Come on! Don't ask it!

"Yeah?"

"So your pretty close with Tonks." I can't believe I'm doing this.

"Yeah, she's my favorite niece." Replied Sirius, but not really paying attention to the conversation at all. I hesitated, what would he think of me?

"When do you think I'm going to see her again." I tried to sound smooth. He looked at me as through I poured ice cold water down his back.

"You have a crush on a seven-year-old?" A mischievous grin smeared across his face.

"What?! No!" I blushed. Oh dear, this is your worst idea. "I just thought she was kinda cool."

Sirius laughed. "It's okay dude. I totally understand why you like her." He was still laughing. "Your both freaks!" He teased. I playfully punched him in the arm.

"We are not! She is just, cool." I tried again. He gave me a looked.

"Alright I like her." I admitted, feeling as red as a tomato.

"Remus and Tonk! Sitting in a tree. S-N-O-G-G-I-N-G." I even had to laugh at that one!

_Slam!_ The door was slammed hard it made us all jump! Sirius tried to make snoring noises but they were the fakest you have ever heard.

James pulled off his invisibility cloak and crashed into the bed.

"Oh god James! I thought you were a professor!" Sirius started to laugh but stopped when he realized James we actually crying. We both got up-- stepping over Wormtail-- and joined James on the bed.

"James, you okay?" Whisper Sirius. I gave him a look saying, _What does it look like?_ He ignored the jab and helped James sit up.

"What's wrong?" Sirius tried again. James wiped the tears from his eyes and cleared his voice.

"I went to see what they were doing, you know, since we saw them meeting in the bathroom." I saw a teardrop fall on bed sheet and James shake his head.

"He kissed her. Snape kissed her. He told her he loved her then he kissed her and fled." He finished and covered his whole face in his face. Sirius and I exchanged shocked glances. He did what?!

I couldn't believe my hears.

"I'm so sorry James--" Sirius tried to comfort.

"And it's all your falt!" Yelled James. Wait... what? Was I missing something? "You told me to ask her out! You _made _her go out with me! I knew it was too good to be true!" He threw his pillow at Sirius.

Sirius was on the verge of tears. "James I didn't know she would do this. I didn't make her ask you out she chose to--"

"Yeah, right, like I'm suppose to believe you!" He cried. Sirius looked down. "I just wanted you to--"

"SHUT UP! You always want things! That is all you think about? You! You! You! Well I'm tired of it! Leave me alone!" James yelled so loud he woke up Wormtail and Longbottom.

"James I'm really sorry, please believe me, your the only family I got." Sirius face was hidden in the darkness. I could hear him sniffling though.

"I- just leave!" James bawled. Sirius got up and leave the room. I glared at James.

"What do you want?" he spat. I felt my anger build up again. I couldn't stop it-

"Look what you did James! All he wanted to do was help you? How the hell was he suppose to know Snape and Lily would do this?" I yelled at him. He looked confused.

"I know your angry but don't take it out on Sirius! He is like your brother! And you know it! God, you can be so selfish." I stood up and started walking towards the door. James kept silent, I wondered if I went to far...

"What'd I miss?" yawned Wormtail.

"SHUT UP!" James and I yelled at once and I slammed the door on them.


	7. Finding Out New Things About Old Friends

**Sirius POV**

I went down to breakfast early, hoping no to run into James. I couldn't take anymore of his anger, every word pierced through me like bullets. _Why?_ Why did I have to get myself involved?! All the way down the corridor I hoped someone would come out and hex me, put me out of my misery. Maybe then James would forget about this and help me! I looked around, no luck. Everyone was either sleeping or eating already.

When I entered the Great Hall I immediately saw Lily, her eyes were red and puffy, not to mention the dark circles underneath. _What the hell was she upset about? _It was _her _decision, her fault! I felt myself glare at her as I sat down on the other end of the Gyffindor table. She looked back at me, pleaded me to understand her. Why should I? She is the reason my best frien- I mean my ex-best friend- well, the reason for _that. _I thought Lily and James would last forever, they were so perfect for each other. I can't help but think it won't hurt to try to understand...

I walked over to her side of the table and sat next to her. She tried to smile a little, but I just stared at her.

"It wasn't what it looked like," She started to say. I gave her one of my 'Oh really?' looks.

"Then tell me what really happened." I said. Tears started to fill her eyes.

"I was in the girls common room, about to sleep, when I noticed a note on my pillow. I thought maybe it was a love note from James, so I opened it.

It read:

"Dear Lily,

I need to talk to you. We can't avoid each other forever, and it's important. Meet me in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom at 1:30 a.m.

-Severus

"When I finished reading the note I was angry, I mean, how dare he not apologize for two years! Now, he wants to talk to me? I told myself not to do it, but part of me missed him."

The tears in her eyes were now streaking down her cheeks, making her eyes look even more brilliant. I suddenly realized why James likes her so much--

Shut up! James is mad at you enough!

"I mean, he was my _best friend_." She continued. "So I met him there. We argued for several minutes, I was yelling at him. He was telling me to join the Death Eaters, to follow Voldemort. I refused. Then he, told me he loved me and kissed me."

As she spoke I could feel myself falling for her. She sobbed into my shoulder as I tried to comfort her. What was James thinking? She didn't know he was going to kiss her! I felt this urge to hurt Snape for the things he did to her.

"So you don't like Snape?" I asked, clarifying. She shook her head.

"Not after what he did to --"

Loud laughter erupted from the Slytherin table. We turned around to find Snape, Crabbe, Goyle, Malfoy, and a chubby kid that looked a lot like--

"Wormtail?!" I shouted across the room.

The boy turned around horror-eyed to face me. _That son of a bitch. _I glared at him as he made his way over to us.

"What the hell were you doing with them?!" I demanded. He hesitated for a moment, avoiding my eyes.

"I-um- they were tutoring me." He lied. I rolled my eyes.

"That's funny because last year James was head boy, not them. Why didn't you ask James?" I pointed out. He stuttered.

"W-w-ell he just seemed so busy."

"You and I both know James would always make time to help his friends." I smirked knowing he was cornered.

"Come with me." He pulled me away from Lily, to the corner of the Great Hall. His eyes seemed black and colder then ever before.

"Listen," He hissed at me. "If you tell James I've been hanging around the Death Eaters I will tell him how you feel about and what you were doing with Lily."

_What?_ Who is he? This can't be Wormtail can't it? And what does he mean I feel about her? How does he know?

"I saw the way you looked at her. From across the room you can tell." He was the one smirking now. My mouth dropped, what seemed like 10 feet.

"Tell anyone and I'll tell your secret." He threatened and walked back to his table.

_What the HELL!?!?_

I felt an arm on my shoulder, and I rushed around to see a face I was relieved to see.

"Lupin?" I tried to smile. He put his arm on my shoulder as we walked back to the Gryffindor table.

"I'm sorry James was being so tough on you. Oh and have you seen Wormtail? He wasn't in the dorm room when I woke up."

I glanced at Wormtail from the corner of my eye.

"No idea." I lied. "And its okay about James, I talked to Lily, it was all Snape's fault, she didn't want to kiss him."

He sighed. "Good luck convincing James that."

I grimaced at the thought. "Thanks."


	8. Shattered

**Lupin POV**

"So it wasn't Lily who kissed him or even wanted to kiss him? It was just Snape all along?" I asked after Sirius explained what happened. He and Lily nodded.

"We have to tell James then." I decided, but quickly regretted saying it. I was really harsh to him. What if he never forgives me? Maybe I should change the subject...

"Wormtail probably wants to know too. Are you sure you don't know where he is?" I asked getting suspicious. He is never around anymore. Sirius didn't say anything. Lily just sighed.

"I really want to talk to James," she pleaded.

"I know, but maybe we should wait till he cools down." I tried.

"Alright." She agreed glumly. There was silence for a few moments. Sirius avoided eye-contact and shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

_Thud!_ An owl dropped a letter in front of Sirius. He picked it up and his brow wrinkled as he read the front of the envelope.

"Who's it from?" I asked. Starred at it for a second longer before answering.

"It's from Tonks." He replied, confused. My heart raced. Tonks? She wrote to him? Did she mention me? I stopped when I looked at the look on his face, he looked deeply worried.

"What's wrong?"

"It's just," He paused looking back at the envelope. "She only writes for emergencies or big news... It's usually her mother that sends good news."

"Well, maybe, She just wanted to say hi?" I tried to comfort, but I was just as worried as he was. Did something happen to her? Did Bellatrix hurt her beyond repair?!

I took a deep breath as he started slowly opening the envelope. Lily looked nervous too as we all watched him rip the envelope open and pull out the letter.

We scanned his expression as he unfolded the letter and silently read the letter. Tears quickly started to fill his eyes. As the note dropped out of hands and hit the table. And with a blink of the eye he had dashed out of the Great Hall and down the corridor.

Lily looked at me scared.

"What did it say?" She asked. Not knowing either I picked the note up. It was wet, it looked like little raindrops had pelted it, but I knew what those were. They were _her _tears. I started to read it:

Dear Sirius,

I know I usually don't write to you, but I thought you'd like to know. After all you knew her well, she was your favorite cousin. Well, Andromeda was taken hostage. She was trying to be recruited by the Death Eaters but refused to join them. I saw the whole thing from under the coach. Then they took me away to Bellatrix's house and I'm forced to live and work for her here. I so afraid Sirius! What if they kill me like they did my mother? I guess I will die for her then. I'm sorry to bother you, this is probably very hard for you since your taking your N.E.W.T.S this week and have to bear this news. I wish you well, because I won't be able to see you for a while. She is keeping me locked away. I stole this paper and a quill from her desk, she might notice by now. Don't bother writing back, I'm sure she will confiscate it.

Your Niece,

Tonks.

Horror struck through me. NO! Tonks! How could this happen!? With Bellatrix?! Oh no, and her mother is trapped?! Sirius?! I felt myself run after him out of the Great Hall and down the corridor, clutch the paper with me.

I felt Lily stare after me but I couldn't explain. I could barely talk my throat felt like it was tied up. My whole vision was blurred, I felt like I was just running in a slow motion movie, a blurry, slow motion movie. And it seemed to go on forever.


	9. To Fight For The Ones You Love

**Okay this is my ninth chapter! Yay! This is my first story on fanfiction, please leave a review if you like it thanks! I plan for there to be a few for Chapters then I'm writing a sequel to this. Enjoy! And tell me what you think!**

**~CarryYourHeartWithMe**

**James POV**

I opened my eyes to the feeling of my stomach tied in a tight knot. _What had I done?_ In one night I had lost my _group, _no, my _best friends, no_, my _brothers _in angst against my ex-girlfriend.

The moment I thought about her my heart felt it had cracked completely in half. How could she have done this to me?! Why?! What had I done to deserve this?! And Snape??!! My archenemy too? She not only broke my heart, but betrayed me.

M alarm clock rang and I hit. Oh no. I'm going to be late for my N.E.W.T.S. Exam! I slide my glasses on and dressed in my robes. It didn't seem like Hogwarts though. Not without my friends. I had to apologize. I mean, so what if I don't have-- _her. _I was fine before, right? I mean, we only dated for a little bit right? Oh stop thinking about her you baby!!

I climbed through the fat lady and out of the Gryffindor common room. All the way down the halls I found myself thinking about her. That red hair, those brilliant green eyes. Oh shut the bloody hell up James!!! She isn't even worth you! But I knew part of me thought she was was and more.

I walked with my head looking at the floor. I couldn't bare look at anyone right now, not how I was. Suddenly I felt a gush of wind pass me. I looked up to see a boy with shoulder length black, wavy hair and a familiar face.\

"Sirius!" I called after him, but the once visible Sirius disapeared down the hall. As if an instinct, my legs followed him. I knew I couldn't let him go. He was the only one who really knew me.

**********************************************************************************

I finally found him in the boy's corridor, collapsed on his bed. Out of breath, I sat next to him.

"Sirius," I tried, and I shook him to try to get him to sit up. "What's wrong?" I worried. He only cries when something really terrible happens. He flipped over showing his face, red and puffy.

"What's wrong?" I tried again.

"Why do you want to know?" He spat. I could hear the anger in his voice. I knew what I had to do.

"Look, man I'm sorry. I never should have blamed you for Lily. I was just, so angry. I paused and watched his frown turn into a half-smile.

"And Sirius," I continued. "You aren't _like _my brother. You _are _my brother. We have had so many fun times! Remember the time we put a frog in Professor Slughorn's pants?" I laughed at the memory. I felt the knot in my stomach loosen a bit.

"Yeah! I bet its still in there!" He ginned and joined in the laughter. "Oh and we tried to convince Frank Longbottom that his girlfriend Alice was going to dump him. He was on alert for 2 weeks!"

I laughed even harder at that one until Sirius went silent remembering something.

"What?!" I asked as I watched his face fall.

"My cousin, she has been captured by Death Eaters." He started to shake. "She refused to join them, so they just took her. And Tonks, she is forced to work for Bellatrix." He cried. I felt shock waves through my body. Death Eaters, I hate them. This new dark wizard, Voldemort, is becoming a threat. He is killing so many people. He needs to be stopped.

"I'm so sorry Sirius," I tried to comfort. "I know she was your favorite cousin, and Tonks, was your favorite niece."

His face was sunken, I pictured more and more people being killed by Voldemort. Someone needs to stop him. Then the idea hit me.

"I'm joining the Order." I stated. I really was. The thought of more and more people dying everyday._ No_, he will be defeated. Sirius looked shocked for a moment, then grinned.

"Me too." He agreed. "For my cousins!" I nodded.

"And for everyone who has suffered from Voldemort! I'll convince Remus and Wormtail to join." I assured him. His smile faded towards the end of that sentence.

"What's wrong?" I asked, but before he could answer Remus and Wormtail entered.

"I found Wormtail! He was outside the Great Hall!" Remus told Sirius but stopped talking when he stopped me.

"We made up." explained Sirius, grinning. Remus stared blankly at me. I laughed.

"Come here!" I grinned giving Remus a hug, he looked so relieved.

"Look man, I'm sorry I over reacted. I just--"

"It's okay, I'll forgive you if you forgive me." He interrupted. I didn't mind though, and nodded to let him know.

We both laughed, not that anything was funny, but we were both so happy to have it back to normal. Wormtail looked confused but I ignored it.

"Sirius, I'm really sorry about what happened with your cousin and Tonks." said Remus.

"Don't worry, James and I are going to save him, as soon as school is out we are joining 'The Order of the Phoenix'." Sirius explained. He looked happier then he had in a while.

Remus was shocked. "Are you guys sure? It's really dangerous, you could get hurt."

"But we owe it to all those people. We need to stop Voldemort, before he hurts us anymore." I explained.

"Then I'm joining too." He decided. Wormtail was silent. "Before he hurts someone I love."

I immediately thought of Lily. What if Voldemort hurt her? Wait, what am I saying?! I need to forget her, and I need to pretend I already did.

"I'm over Lily." I tried to convince them. Although I wasn't sure at all if I really was. Remus and Sirius exchanged glances.

"We have to talk to you about Lily." said Remus. I sighed, but nodded for them to go on. If they were trying to prep-talk me, they better forget it. I don't want to hear how there are 'other fish in the sea'.

"Lily didn't kiss Snape, nor did she want to. Snape kissed her and told her he loved her. She doesn't feel the same way and he caught her off guard. Before you came in she was telling him she didn't want to join him. She told him she didn't forgive him. In fact, she has been crying for you all day. She missed you a lot. Give her another chance." explained Remus. So many different things raced through my mind. I couldn't even believe my ears! So she didn't betray me? She didn't kiss me? She still likes _me? _

"So she still likes me?!" I exclaimed. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Holy Hippagrif! James! Of corse she still likes you!" He pointed out. I saw Sirius wince, and I wasn't sure why, but I didn't bother asking. I felt the knot in my stomach loosen completely, everything seemed great again, then it hit me.

"I need to talk to her!" I raced towards the door when the bell rang indicating to go to our first N.E.W.T.S testing class.

"I'll tell her later," I decided. "Remus, you and I have to head to potions for testing." He nodded as if he was one step ahead of me. I waved good-bye to Wormtail and Sirius who were heading off to Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Things felt great again, and they will feel even better later when I talk to Lily. I thought about her kisses the whole way there, excited to be with her, to once more feel the fire works and external flames every time our lips touched.


	10. Too Far

**Please review this story, I would really like to know what you think about it! Thanks!**

**SIRIUS POV**

I waved goodbye to James and Remus as they headed off to Potions Class. I sighed, they were so lucky they weren't with Wormtail, as Wormtail and I walked to Defense Against the Dark Arts Class. Wormtail didn't say a word, but I was relieved. It was way better then when he was threatening me about tell James... At least I felt way better than this morning. Finally James and I were friends again, and his friendship meant more than telling Lily how I felt.

I kept walking but I felt my mood sink. What about my cousins? What am I going to do without them? I hope James is right, I hope joining this Order can save them. But what if I'm too late?! I mean, there's two weeks left of school! What they can't survive for that long?! And Tonks, she's only seven! She hasn't even gotten to Hogwarts yet!

I watched Wormtail run ahead of me towards class. I didn't care, the farther away the better. The silence soothed me, made me feel calmer for my exams, as I neared class. I don't need a job anyway, I could just be a full-time Order member. They get paid, right? The silence stopped when I approached the door. I heard whispering.

"The Dark Lord wants them to join us?" I heard a voice sounding shocked. I immediately recognized it to be Lucius Malfoy's,

"Yes, he believes they are powerful, and are of use." Responded a monotone voice. _Snape. _A murmur broke out between the Slytherins.

"What if they decline?" Asked Lucius.

"Well then," said Snape. "The Dark Lord shall murder them. You see, fellow Death Eaters, no one says no to the Dark Lord. Unless they don't want to live."

Crabbe and Goyle snickered. I stopped outside the door, wanting to hear more.

"Why would the Dark Lord want James Potter and his mud blood girlfriend?" Lucius complained. Snape silenced him.

"If you haven't noticed, James and Lily have been the smartest in our grade. Both have been Head student for a year, and well the Dark Lord has reasons for everything. I don't see you as head boy." Snape jabbed. Lucius was silent.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing! Voldemort wants Lily and James? I have to warn them! I can't let them die!

"Well how would The Dark Lord kill them? While they are at Hogwarts, they are untouchable! And Dumbledore will find out for sure and have them heavily guarded!" Thought another Slytherin.

"The Dark Lord has thought about it. His plan is to have one of us get close to James. James with trust him, but without knowing it, that one of us will be telling the Lord all his information. Where he is, what he is doing, and will be the Secret Keeper so that the Dark Lord can find them." Replied Snape.

"Like a spy?" asked a squeaky voiced kid. I couldn't believe this... was this what he was planning the entire time to betray James? I felt myself lean against the door too hard forcing it sqeak. I peaked through the crack and saw all their faces turn towards the door. I held my breath as Wormtail stepped towards it.

"Who's there?!" He demanded, his voice squeakier then ever. I tried not to move as he peaked his head out, but he immediately spotted me.

"You." he growled, and pulling me by the arm, he lead me to their corner of the classroom.

"What did you hear?" Snape demanded. I glared at him.

"I asked, what did you hear?" He tried again. I didn't reply.

"The Dark Lord won't stand for spies." Added Lucius and looked at Snape.

"What should we do with him?"

"Leave him to the Dark Lord, we can't do anything to him here, if he tells anyone though, he will be murdered." Replied Snape. My eyes narrowed at him but he smirked.

"I don't care about your stupid 'Dark Lord'! I'd rather die for my best friend then betray them" I told them, they gasped.

"You'll wish you never said that boy." growled Snape and he pulled out his wand.

"Good evening class!" Greeted our Professor. Snape immediately pushed his wand back into his pocket.

We all took our seats and she started explaining N.E.W.T.S and how we will be taking the written part first, then the wand part.

I felt the Death Eaters' eyes bored into my head. I _hafta_ tell James. I don't care if I die, I know he would do the same for me.


	11. Love is a Battlefield

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while! I've been hanging out with 'Kevin the Burrito' and 'The Sammie' in rl, they are my best friends lol, plus school should be starting soon :) R&R**

**JAMES POV**

"James, where are you going? We just finished our N.E.W.T.S. For today! We have to study more and get some rest!" Remus reasoned. I shook my head.

"No, I have to talk to Lily." I told him. He seemed to understand and walked back to the common rooms. I walked on down the corridor. If Lily had gotten my note, she should be meeting me in morning myrtle's bathroom... But what if she doesn't show? What If she doesn't want to talk to me again? I looked around to make sure the hallway was deserted and pulled out the map.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good." I whispered to it. The map opened to reveal all of Hogwarts, I quickly scanned the page for Lily, and sure enough she was in the bathroom. I let out a relieved sigh.

"Mischief Managed." I said to it and closed it, and stuffing it back in my pocket, I walked on.

As I neared the bathroom I felt excited, but nervous. What was she to say?

When I got to the door I took a deep breathe. _This is it,_ I said to myself opening the door. I immediately saw her silhouette the poorly lite room. She walked closer, her fiery hair becoming more and more visible.

"James?" She asked. I stepped inside.

"Yeah, it's me." I smiled. As she stepped closer, I could tell she was too.

"Listen James," she started. I stared at her waiting. "I really like you, possibly love, but the weird part is, we haven't been dating for that long. I don't understand this feeling whenever your around, but I like it, a lot. I felt so bad when Snape--"

"You do?" I asked shocked. I thought that only I felt this way...

"Yes I do feel something." She admitted, I saw her blush a little, I felt my hand instinctively hold her cheek, brushing her hair to the side.

"That's good, I thought it was just me." I smiled. She grinned and pulled me in for a long embrace. My hand slipped down to her neck, my other to her waist, holding her close.

"Lily, I need to tell you something." She stopped and looked into my eyes. "When I finished Hogwarts, I'm joining the Order." She kept looking at me, expressionless.

"I want you to come with me." I finished. Her face was indescribable, I couldn't understand what she was feeling.

Suddenly we heard and squeak, both of our heads turned to the door to find the person we mutually despise.

"Potter." He squawked.

"Get out Snape." I snapped. He grinned.

"I always thought you we're smarter than this Lily, smarter then to stoop to Potter." Shouted Snape.

"You think your so great Snivellus? Explain why you can't get the girl you like to date you?"

"It's none of your business Potter!" His grin faded to anger.

"Struck a nerve, have I?" I taunted. His eyes narrowed.

"I'm warning you, Potter, don't." He threatened and pulled his wand out. I did the same.

"Guys, stop really!" Lily pleaded. We ignored her, and kept glaring at each other.

"What are you even doing here Snape? Lily could never like a scum like you!" I felt myself cross the line.

"Really guys! Before anyone gets hurt, we should just talk about this!" Lily tried to reason once more.

"Impedimente!" Snape waved his wand at me.

"Furnunculus!" I yelled at the same time. I immediately felt myself being pushed back hard against the wall, pain shot up my entire body.

"Stop it! Stop it!" Lily cried. I slowly got to my feet and turned to Snape whose whole body was covered in boils and struggling to do the same.

"Incarcernous!" I yelled at him, struggling to wave my wand.

"Impervius." He blocked it, but just barely.

"STOP IT!" She yelled.

"Silenico!" Snape hit her hard. She fell down, unable to speak.

"Don't you dare hurt her!!!" I screamed at him. I felt all my anger and heat build up in me. "Expelliarmous!" I knocked him against the wall.

"Locomotor!" He yelled at me. I felt my legs bind and I hit the ground, blood coming out of my mouth. I tried to wipe it off with my hand.

"Sectumsempra!" He yelled at me.

"Protego!" I countered his spell, so it hit him instead. I saw him fall to the floor. Bleeding hard and slashed.

While he was down I unsilenced Lily with the flick of my wand.

"BOYS! STOP! IT!" Lily was crying hard.

"Stupefy." Snape tried to say, his voice weak, his wand pointed at me. I felt the spell hit me then everything went dark.


	12. The Path I Chose

**I think this will be my last chapter! Please tell me what you guys think! R&R!**

**LILY POV**

"Is he getting better?" I asked Madam Pomfrey. She smiled and nodded.

"Much better dear, in fact they both will be able to go home on the Hogwarts express today." She assured me. I felt so glad hearing that I skipped into the room and sat on Jame's bed waiting for him to wake up. His eyes started to open and my heart pounded fast.

"James?" I whispered. His blue eyes lit up when he saw me, but immediately looked confused.

"Where am I?" He said, his voice sounding horse. I smiled.

"The Hospital Wing, you and Severus almost killed each other." I quickly peeked at the other bed to see Severus try to sit up.

"How long have I been in here?" He asked. I turned back to him.

"Well its that last day of school..." I started to say, his eyes opened wide and sat up, looking around.

"Are you serious?!" He refused to believe. I nodded "So I missed all my N.E.W.T.S?" He asked, but he didn't look worried, glad, actually.

"Yeah, but you could probably retake them if you talk to--"  
He grinned. "Are you kidding? I'm joining the Order I don't need N.E.W.T.S." He stopped and looked at me. I hadn't forgotten what he asked me, neither had he. I had been waiting to tell him.

"James," I started to say. He looked into my eyes, hesitant, excepting my answer. "I'm coming with you."

I watched his expression explode with joy and I felt myself laugh and he pulled me in for a long embrace and sprang to his feet.

"Feeling better?" I joked. He laughed and helped me up.

"Let's go get packed for the train." I told him and he grabbed my hand and took me out of the Hospital.

When I entered the Girl's Dormitory I quickly packed my belongings and my owl. My mind was racing at the thought of being with James, forever. It was the only thing I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

I went to grab my pillow from my bed when I noticed a piece of parchment on the blanket. Curious, I picked it up and opened the note, careful not to rip it.

It read:

Dear Lily,

I'm sorry for the way I acted with _him. _I must warn you. The Dark Lord won't like what your doing, and will try to kill you. I wanted you to know this because, I love you Lily, I will love you forever and will always protect and watch over you.

-Severus

I closed the note, not sure what to feel. Was I putting myself in danger?

"Lily, you ready?" James called. I clutched the note tightly in my fist and I picked up my things and I headed out into the common room.

"Have all your things?" He asked, making sure. I nodded.

"I'll be right there." I assured him as he headed out the Fat Lady. I walked to the fireplace with the note, clutched in my hand.

"I will always love you too Severus." I whispered as I through the note into the fire. I watched as the flames engrossed the the paper, roasting it, turning it completely black. I turned my back and walked out the door with my things, towards my future, the man I truly love.

"James Potter," I whispered in his ear. "I love you."

By the way he dropped all his bags and held me in his arms, I knew he felt the same.

**There will be a sequal! If you subscribe it will rock I promise! I hope you guys enjoyed review please!!**

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**I just wrote the first chapter to the sequal!!! Check it out! The story is called _The Cost Of Betrayal_ :D :D :D D:D**


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